In Ten Years //

Travel Travel Travel.

I have loved traveling as far back as I can remember.  My first memories of it were when my family and I would pack our bags, fill our vehicle to the brim and head west.  Late night drives brought on early mornings as we made our way from Virginia to Colorado.  It was a twenty-seven hour road trip, and my elementary school self tried to stay up for the entire thing.  The daylight revealed new sights that presented themselves like framed pictures from my window, and the night time brought on dad’s cravings for pretzels, mountain dew and late night conversation.

It was the journey that got me excited- the traveling to somewhere.  I’d fill my composition notebooks with doodles and ideas of how fun the trip was, and our family’s plans of what we’d do when we arrived.

In all of those years, I enjoyed the road trips just as much as the destination.

Now, years later, I’m realizing that life works in seasons.  Nothing stays the same for very long.  Both good times and bad eventually come to an end.  There are hard seasons, and there are the easier ones,  there are the seasons where money is tight, and the seasons where money isn’t something you spend time focusing on at all.  There are seasons of joy, and seasons of sorrow.  There are seasons spent falling in love, and seasons spent healing.

No matter the season, it’s still a part of the story.

Somewhere along the way of living out my story in life, I came to the conclusion that some seasons weren’t meant to be mine.

“I’m not meant to be grieving this much over this, I just need to get over it.”

“I’m not supposed to be doing this, if I could only do that, THEN things will turn around,”

“Once I get over/through/past this, I’ll be better,”

It was as if I was waiting for my life to happen, and I believed my life would start once I was over/through/past a season.

I don’t want to live like that.  

The reality of it all came crashing down in the middle of the Nashville airport a little over a week ago.  After booking and rebooking my flight over five times because of flight cancelations and delays, I found myself crumbled and crying into the carpet.

Yes– I know, classy.

A week later, I can laugh about it now.  Knowing full well that it’s a good story to tell, and that the story didn’t end with me crying into the carpet.

Ten years from I want to remember this season for all that it is. I want to remember the 9 hour road trips through the mountains of Tennessee & the rush of seeing the Pacific Ocean for the very first time. I don’t want to disregard the fact that cried into carpet while waiting for United Airlines to rebook my flight, or how I had zero money in my bank account.  I want to remember that I embraced failure more times than success, and got really good at knowing people’s names.  I want to remember that. All of it. I want to tell the stories of this season to my kids & grandkids. I want to laugh with them about the crazy things their momma did, & coo about how God always, ALWAYS, always showed up & showed off- especially in the teeny tiny details.

I want to enjoy the roadtrip just as much as the destination.  I don’t want to “push through” or convince myself that joy will be on the other side of something…. no.  No, I want to be where my feet are, and find the joy there.  I don’t want to hold back, I want to hold on.

Cheering you on in more ways than one,

xo

AnnaFilly