There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, in the end, ‘Thy will be done.’
C. S. Lewis
My heart has been a chaotic mess, pulled in a multitude of directions. I like to think that after all this time, I’ve learned to trust God in the midst of chaos…. To give him everything and know everything will work out according to his will. But if I were being honest, and laying on your pleather sofa, with you holding a notepad, I’d admit that I pretend to trust God more than I actually trust God.
It’s a revelation that I denied at first- because it terrified me. But the revelations didn’t just stop with not trusting God… they continued.
As a natural leader, I like to give things order. Giving things a place and a purpose excites me. But… without realizing it I often give God the purpose of taking on one of my troubles, while I take on the job of sorting out the others.
That isn’t trust.
That is saying God and I are equal.
That, my friends, is inaccurate.
So what did I do? How did I fix this skewed mentality?
I didn’t do anything. Because doing something is my problem.
I confess all of this to you, because after nearly 3 weeks of this vicious cycle- I found myself completely miserable.
Which is a good thing. I feel like a lot of us find ourselves this way… miserable or discontent with no evident reason. Or maybe there is a reason- but we see no end to it. To all of the Christians out there- we’re guaranteed everlasting joy, right? So where is it?
It’s there. In the midst of the chaos, unchanging, unmoving, ever flowing.
I firmly believe the miserability we’re under is allowed so we’ll wake up. It’s there to remind us how human we are, how we can’t do everything. The miserability takes the pressure off of perfection.
We aren’t meant to be perfect- or do everything.
But the good news is, we know the one person who is and can.
Cast your burdens and your miserability onto him today. Whisper, “Jesus, I trust you” even if you don’t. Uttering those words out loud affirms truth.
Thanks for letting me be vulnerable.
Xo
AnnaFilly
PS big props to Jenny Leigh Photography for the pretty picture up top <3
Pat says
You hit the nail on the head. We’ve all been there and will probably be there again. Thanks for your honesty. Love you.
Wendy Turner says
If ever I meet another, so sincere, honest, washed in His blood, I will have seen another angel. I see you as I believe does Christ, a pure sweet child. I pray for you always!
Honey says
My dear Anna,, How I love you. God does too! So thankful for my girl who hears from Jesus.
MJ says
You’ve got a natural gift girl! Keep sharing.