Wedding Planning 101 – What I’ve Already Learned After One month of being Engaged

David and I have been officially engaged for ONE month, and I’m already amazed at how quickly this season of engagement is passing!  We have almost 10 more months and then we say I do!!  Ah!  One of my friends recently told me that a person’s season of engagement is one of the few seasons where a definite beginning and a definite end are clear.  That little bit of wisdom has helped me APPRECIATE this season and has increased my desire to soak it up for all it’s worth!  I know when it ends, and it will end before I know it!

After David and I got engaged, we started planning.  I’m a planner by nature, so it was easy for me to start reaching out to vendors and decide details.  David isn’t a natural planner, but more than anything, I wanted him to be apart of each detail. I’ve been to enough weddings to know that everyone’s natural tendency is to prefer the bride.  As much as I love that idea, I know that our wedding will only be one day in the entirety of our life together.  Our marriage won’t be “all about the bride” so why should our wedding day be?   I also knew that as soon as David went back to school, he alone would be juggling a lot.  So, I wanted to get as much DONE before his plate got full.  In the last four weeks we’ve met with photographers, videographers, tried on dresses and suits, ordered bridal party gifts, picked wedding colors, tried on wedding rings, met with a stationer, started designing a wedding website, started looking at venues, and are putting the final touches on our guest list!  WHEW!

We have learned a LOT in this first month, and today, I’m sharing a handful of the things that have stood out to me the most!!

1.  Meet As Much As You Can
   • As soon as I got engaged I started reaching out to my most favorite vendors  to schedule appointments to hear more about their products and services.  After exchanging a handful of emails with someone, you become invested in them whether you would like to believe it or not.  One of the greatest ways to deepen that investment is through getting to know THEM as well as the services they provide.  I’ll be the first to tell you that this is time consuming.  But you know what?  It’s worth it.  David and I have met with countless vendors both in person and via FaceTime.  We’ve learned which vendors click with our personalities and which ones don’t.  In the same sense, each vendor has seen our personalities, and gotten to know us better as well.  After hearing our story and getting to know us you know what a lot of them said?  We would love to serve you and will do most anything to make that happen.  What couple DOESN’T want to hear that?!  Now, this isn’t true for every vendor, but AS a wedding vendor, let me encourage you: I would much rather work with someone who is INVESTED in my services, than someone who views me as strictly a service provider.  It’s essential that David’s and my personalities “click” with the businesses that we hire.  We would never know if we clicked or not had we never met with the vendors before we booked them!
2. Pick Three Things that Matter Most
   • David and I both sat down one day and picked three things that mattered most to us for our wedding day. These things would be the things we would both strive to prefer above everything else.  Picking the most important things has helped us decide what really matters. I’ll share them with you here:
     • David:
       • To marry Anna, my most beautiful bride
       • To have as stress free a day as possible, and strive to glorify the Lord not only in the details, but in our hearts and attitudes as well.
       • An incredible band that keeps the atmosphere of the day alive, sentimental and authentic with overall excellence for and after the ceremony.
     • Anna:
       • That above all, our Wedding day would be one in which our guests feel a part of something greater.  That in each detail the Lord would be glorified and that the intentional hospitality of Jesus Christ would be reflected in each detail of things both big and small.
       • That in all things David would be preferred just as much as I am and that It would be HIS day and MINE as we begin our legacy as one.
       • A photographer that authentically captures the entirety of the day in a beautiful, timeless and joyful way.  Someone who is invested in US as well as our guests, other vendors, and families
3. Be Authentic About Your Budget
   • David and I have a tiny budget.  But, we don’t need a big budget to have an incredible wedding.  As we have reached out to vendors and businesses, we have been honest about our budget and what it allows us to do.  Vendors in return have been honest with US about what they can and cannot do.  Some vendors have met us, heard our story and gifted us with discounts because they really want to work with us.  Other vendors have been honest with us about their inability to meet our budget– and you know what?  In BOTH instances, David and I have been blessed by each business’s blessing of honesty.  We never would have experienced this had we not been upfront about our budget in the first place.
4. Don’t Focus so much on the Wedding that you lose sight of the Marriage
   • Humbly, I will admit that I get wrapped up in wedding planning.  It’s honestly like having another full-time job!  From scheduling appointments, to meeting with vendors, answering emails and everything in-between can be overwhelming at times.  And let’s be truthful- most every girl has dreamed about her wedding day in one way or another !!  But, if I focus on the wedding planning, more than I focus on the fact that I get to marry David, SOMEWHERE along the way there will be frustrations and hookups.  Our main goal in planning this wedding is to MARRY each other– in the end that’s all that TRULY matters.
5. Don’t be afraid to ask for Help
   • Last week I walked into my pastor’s office and humbly admitted that as fun as wedding planning was, I also realized there were a lot of fears, and “unknowns” I needed to sift through before I married David.  Thankfully, my pastor sat me down and we decided to meet to talk through things in preparation for marriage.  I left feeling SO encouraged.  Big decisions like marriage have so many little decisions attached to them.  If you’re nervous- that’s OKAY.  If you need help planning- that’s OKAY.  If you don’t know where to begin- that’s OKAY.  But be brave enough to communicate that to those you love most.  Be sure to self evaluate OFTEN and check in with your future spouse often as well.  Asking for help isn’t a weakness, it’s actually essential.  You CANNOT do it all, and you are not meant to.

Though David isn’t a planner by nature, he sure has been a trooper!  He’ll laugh if you ask him how planning is going, because according to him, everything is pretty much done.  My friends who have been married, or that are in the wedding industry are probably chuckling at this as well– everything is not “pretty much done”… but it’s getting there!!  We have so much to do, but I am so thankful I get to do it all with him by my side.  We both have agreed that we want to share our journey with YOU here on the blog, so tune in often!  We are so excited for this season and what’s to come!

Happy Saturday!

xo

AnnaFilly